For a long time (like decades), I struggled with accepting and being proud of my life story. It just hadn’t gone how I had thought it would, and often, it didn’t seem much was changing to a more positive course.
Many of the experiences I went through felt dark and unpleasant, leaving me confused about my role in it all. According to the law of attraction, I acknowledged that I wasn’t entirely innocent, yet I also knew I didn’t invite these hardships. Clinging to my narrative, I realized it held a powerful grip on me, like a heavy, dark blanket weighing down my shoulders.
On January 13th, 2022, coincidentally my youngest daughter’s birthday, I finally mustered the courage to address my story. Not just address it—write it.
Uncertain about the extent and details I would delve into or the outcome, I committed to the process, recognizing that it was time for my story to surface. Following the advice of my writing mentors, I started with a raw, shitty rough draft, understanding the importance of getting the words down.
It is now the second anniversary of picking up those vibrant Inkjoy pens and putting my soul’s stories onto paper—two 3-subject Mead Notebooks, to be exact. I published these tales, beginning a transformative journey toward a brand-new life.
Little did I anticipate the profound comfort, healing, and newfound empowerment that sharing my story would bring to me and my daughters. I am grateful I found value in reclaiming and honoring that part of my life despite its ugliness.
Two years after picking up a pen to write my story, I support and guide others with the dreams of publishing. I never envisioned becoming a publisher, but perhaps it’s not about the title.
My service is providing people the space and support to feel seen, heard, validated, and empowered as they reclaim and release their stories. Having an English teaching background is a pretty nice asset, along with my trauma education (in case the content is more sensitive).
Regardless, my new brand is about cultivating creativity, personal growth, and healing to live a life beyond the dream.
Zenith Bookstore, Duluth, MN
Reflecting on my journey, I believe these five lessons give a strong reason for you to consider the value of sharing your story.
Empowerment through Personal Storytelling
Reclaiming my life story gave me a strong sense of empowerment. Narrating it as I remembered it gave me valuable perspective—how should I tell this story with my truth so that others can best understand it?
I identified common threads where I played a significant role in various experiences. Was I a bystander, a victim, or a participant—where had I made my own choices?
I had the opportunity to define my feelings, understanding, and the decisions I made. Emphasizing my strengths and resilience and acknowledging my vulnerabilities, I presented myself authentically in those perfectly imperfect first sentences. I wrote anything knowing I could always edit later.
By being real and sharing my story, I reclaimed my power.
Breaking Stigmas and Stereotypes
Another reason to consider writing your narrative is to contribute to a movement for change. If we want to become a more understanding, accepting society, it is going to require more people to dispel stereotypes and challenging issues that hold stigma, including experiencing trauma.
It reflects great strength and courage when we are willing to be transparent and vulnerable. The more individuals openly share their journeys, the greater the contributions toward dismantling binding misconceptions.
Perhaps, through this collective effort, we can foster a more understanding and inclusive society.
Catharsis and Emotional Release
A third reason to consider writing your narrative is for emotional release. When I delved into stories that had long been embedded in my heart and soul, some for decades, it wasn’t easy to bring them to the surface and let the ink flow from my pen.
I vividly recall a moment at a local pizza joint where I was writing about one of the darkest episodes of my abusive marriage. It was challenging; I didn’t mind being in public, yet I shed tears. At one point, overwhelmed, I threw my pen on the table.
After a breather and a stretch, I picked it back up, continued writing, and eventually completed that story. I allowed myself to move forward and through it.
Writing a memoir (or any manuscript) for publication requires rigorous rereading, rewriting, and editing. That story that once haunted me began to lose its power with each analytical review I had to undergo.
Now, that story no longer owns me; it’s a part of my past, and I am eternally grateful that I will never be in such a situation again.
Inspiring Others
A fourth reason to contemplate writing your narrative is the opportunity to become a source of inspiration and support for those who currently need someone. Being an author can be much like mentoring those who have faced trauma, hardship, heartache, or deviations from their ideal life.
Many people seek validation for their paths, yearning for someone who has been through similar experiences and understands—someone who can inspire and offer hope.
Write the book you once needed. The one that could have offered answers. Validation. Or guided you onto a better path a little sooner. When you step up to the plate and courageously share, you send out your own ripples, which can turn into waves and, eventually, something magical.
Our uniqueness doesn’t lie in our struggles; it emerges from the exceptional steps we take to overcome them.
Reframing Perspectives
You should consider writing your narrative to provide the space to reframe and reassess your story. We often find ourselves trapped in certain mindsets as victims or constantly blaming others. In my initial attempt at writing my memoir, despite my intention to center it around my struggles and personal growth, there were still traces of finger-pointing.
However, through several rounds of editing, my manuscript—and consequently, my perspective—acquired a clearer understanding of the patterns and path I had been on. It was a revelation that I couldn’t fully grasp until I had mapped it all out on paper.
This newfound clarity allowed me to hold myself accountable, reclaim power, and let go of the negative memories and people. It significantly contributed to my forgiveness and helped me forget.
Writing my story enabled me to concentrate on my commitment to growth, learning, and the positive aspects of my life. In doing so, I fostered a mindset of self-compassion and acceptance—I learned to accept and LOVE MYSELF.
Is it challenging to write your story and contemplate what others will think?
Absolutely. Is it a risk that some of us courageously undertake? Also, absolutely.
I am eternally grateful for the woman who heeded the call to encapsulate her life story in words—transforming them into sentences, paragraphs, and pages within the covers of a book. The book is called Tumbled: A Memoir of Perseverance, Personal Growth & Magical Transformation.
