A member of the Hezzie Mae family, also known as one of our esteemed authors, is crafting a delightful art and journal experience set to be unveiled in the coming months. It’s been a privilege to witness the creation up close, offering me an early glimpse into her work and soulful journey.
Without a doubt, it has me reflecting on the first 100-day creative journey I took back in 2022.
When I enrolled in Sarah Seidelmann’s 100-Day Soul Retrieval creative class, I viewed it as an opportunity to explore the world of color. At that point, I was finishing my memoir rough draft and experiencing a newfound sense of health, confidence, and empowerment.
I was about to immerse myself in 100 days of artistic expression with vibrant crayons and cool humans.
My 8-year-old daughter’s meager oil pastels that changed my world.
To say I approached it with naivety would be an understatement.
On the first day, I showed up without a concrete plan, simply reaching for Leia’s oil pastels and sketching a flower on a 4×6 piece of paper.
The other aspect of our 15-minute daily creativity involved reflecting on our work and sharing it within the group, a task seemingly easy for someone accustomed to expressing herself with words.
The art was laughable, and the effort wasn’t much stronger, but I will always cherish this as a very important first step. Here it is, Day 1, in all its glory. (Yes, it is framed on my desk).
I went about the next two weeks learning to love the feel of the waxen pastels, realizing their ability to layer and blend, and opening up chunks of my child’s soul with JOY. Then, Day 14 happened, and my seemingly small creative journey took on new meaning.
I began drawing a child—a vibrant, colored girl with strikingly large eyes. As my creative session unfolded, I couldn’t help but notice that my depiction had transformed into that of a boy. Without much thought, I started my day’s reflection.
As I delved into my entry, an emotional story emerged—one of family discord, divorce, and the poignant loss of connections with cherished children. It was during this introspective moment that I confronted the pain I carried, stemming from the “loss” of six nephews over the years.
Nobody prepares you for the nuanced layers of healing that reach far beyond separating from a partner. This was my first encounter with the immense loss I felt for these boys I had deeply cherished. This particular piece of art is lost in the stacks and didn’t make it into my photo folder.
This art reflects the beauty of my dear friend, Jen Fox.
It was on Day 22 that I was willing to post my art and reflection on Facebook. I now recognize that this art and reflection are less personal and about a dear friend, which gave me the courage to show myself artistically and vulnerably.
Reflection Day 22/100: As I was working on today’s creative piece, a soul sister reached out, as she is in town for business this week. She brings me bliss and joy and smiles. This is her. Vibrant. Colorful. Feminine. Sophisticated. ❤️
The Overturning of Roe v. Wade.
This announcement sent shockwaves through me, sparking such a range of emotions. I experienced frustration, disbelief, and concern for the future of my daughters, granddaughters, and our country.
I felt the weight and anxiety about the implications for women’s autonomy. Of course, this came out in my art.
Reflection Day 24/100: There needed to be a cape or hood. Like a layer of protection. Holding back. Today, I took a step to stop holding back. Remove some of the layers of protection. The process will take patience, but my body has convinced my mind it is time.
Reflection Day 25/100: It can weigh us down as we drag it from chapter to chapter. It also burns…like lava. What are you carrying with you?
I started to get braver with these oil pastels, willing to risk the outcome.
I especially love Day 32, the calm right before an upheaval in my world. Unbeknownst to me, this work of art would be the label on the United States’ first domestic, regenerative fish sauce made by Third Coast Superior.
Reflection Day 32: Song Lyrics, Juke Ross: You Colour Me. You Colour my soul. Letting go of the old and embracing the new colors of my soul. Vibrancy. Makes me dream of things I never did once before.
We create our world…what colors are you using?
The Very Next Day
My dreams started coming out in my art. The next morning, I grasped at the colors, trying to capture the lingering memory from my sleep. Reflecting on this creative process, it’s remarkable to realize that this particular dream set the stage for profound contemplation, ultimately guiding me toward an entirely new career path. This piece is also framed on my wall.
Reflection Day 33/100: It started with a dream about corn fields destroyed by a summer ice storm. Their crop income is gone. As I meditated about my future and career, the night’s dream instantly came up. I am leaning in. The farmers had other means to survive, even if their typical flow of money was made stagnant.
Do you have other means of survival and bliss outside your corn crop?
A completely new path emerged within days. I wouldn’t believe it today if I didn’t have this visual diary to verify. I was ready.
I left the only career I knew as a public educator—without much of a plan and without a savings account. But one thing I did have was a higher calling.
Reflection Day 37/100:
“Fly high, my friend.” These words were spoken by a dear friend while cleaning out my classroom. Taking flight is scary, amazing, and awe-inspiring. I am just a little bird in a big, big world…but I hold the keys that unlocked my cage, and I want to share them.
Reflection Day 38/100:
She is a queen. Her posture stands tall after the weathering from storms. Her eyes are focused, and can see all. When she walks into the arena, the crowds are quiet to watch and listen. She is beauty. She is light. She is divine feminine.
This all came out in 38 days. It is a diary, a journal, and creative expression, all cataloged into one. Can you sense the palpable movement, development, and evolving plot? The craving to know more is undeniable—and I lived it!
Allowing myself daily permission to create and reflect was the single most healing journey that I took in all of my healing. My sampling of color turned into a soul-unlocking mission –and I was willing and listening.
There is no argument that my soul, inner child, and divine feminine grew through this experience. Even in its depth, there are common truths that this project allowed:
Self-Expression and Authenticity
Creativity allowed me to express my thoughts, emotions, and experiences in a totally different way. It provided a medium for authentic self-expression, helping me communicate and understand my innermost feelings in ways even my amazing therapist had never accomplished.
Stress Relief and Relaxation
Creative pursuits, whether it’s writing, painting, music, or any other form, can serve as a therapeutic outlet. That was the result, but it wasn’t why I signed up. It provided a space for relaxation and stress relief, allowing me to quieten my mind, be in the present moment, and temporarily escape from daily pressures. Even if for only 15 minutes. (Who am I kidding? Some days, I got lost for hours and didn’t want to leave my creative cave).
Personal Growth and Discovery
This creative endeavor pushed boundaries and made me step outside my comfort zone. Again, I was willing. Creativity fosters personal growth and self-discovery when we allow it. My inexpensive oil pastels challenged me to learn new skills, realize different perspectives, and embrace the evolving aspects of my healing and identity. WOW!
Connection to Others and the World
When I got brave enough to start posting my art and reflections on Facebook, the comments were uncomfortable at first. This was soul work, and finding the right words to connect with others was difficult. As the days and posts ticked by, I couldn’t deny this vulnerability was a powerful tool for building connections with others, oftentimes forming a bridge between our life experiences.
This creative venture deepened my connection to the world and forever changed my view of self.
Creativity is not just about producing tangible works of art to display or sell; it’s a transformative and soul-nurturing process that enhances parts of our well-being. It encourages introspection, fosters resilience, and contributes to a sense of fulfillment and purpose in life.
I now see creativity through a completely different lens than before this first 100-day project (of two I have completed). It has a permanent place in my house, my heart, my career, and my purpose to help others remember the beautiful human they are.
What would you create in 100 days?
I am an author, indie-publisher, blogger, artist, and trauma survivor. Visit HezzieMae.com for a sea change paradigm shift in author mentoring, publishing & living.
